So how did this all start? Well, my grandparents were both born and raised in London. My Grandfather from Hackney and my Grandmother from Chelsea. Back in the 50’s these places were worlds apart. In a lot of ways they still are today. There has been a lot of speculation about their relationship but I do know they met during the war as my grandfather was an RAF Engineer and my grandmother a nurse.

I have always had a desire to go to England, not just because of my grandparents but because of the history there. Especially the music history. I absolutely love old school rock music such as the Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, David Bowie and TRex. TRex you may wonder? I suppose they aren’t really classed as rock but more pop. I heard the song Hot Love on the radio and decided to look up the band and started reading about Marc Bolan. I found him really fascinating! I won’t go into any of that too much and will mention I am not a groupie in any sense but I love to know the history of bands and singers. I feel more of a connection with their music. This was especially the case with David Bowie. Growing up I thought he was a bit odd and didn’t care for much of his music. It wasn’t until I started reading about Marc Bolan and found out that he and David Bowie were best friends but also rivals. I then saw a documentary about David Bowie and realised I had him pegged completely wrong.

So to carry on with my idea to go overseas. I started thinking more and more about going. I was working in a mundane job I didn’t really enjoy and I didn’t have much of a social life. The earthquakes put a halt on my partying days and once the nightlife started to come back I felt like I was past it. I was in a rut and needed to shake things up. Having depression and anxiety puts you in an isolating bubble. You have really good days where you want to take on the world and try new and amazing things but then have days where you feel terrible, you don’t think anyone wants to be around you, every one is judging you and so you just hide away. You start losing contact with friends and family as you don’t make the effort to see them. It’s not that you don’t want too it’s because a part of your mind stops you from doing it. It feels crazy to write that but when in those moments of depression you do really just want to hide away from the world. You don’t feel worthy of being apart of it. This was a big reason why I chose to do the trip. I had to throw myself out of my comfort zone.

But, then reality hit me. Could I afford it? Was I actually capable of saving and committing to such an outrageous plan? Will I be robbed or will there be a terrorist attack? Will I be scared or get homesick and not be able to get back? These thoughts frequently entered my mind. As I was single I didn’t have a partner to go along with me. The few friends I have are married and have kids or they are not the type of people I would want to travel with anyway. So who did I turn too? Family. First I asked my brother who was really keen then piked out due to a lack of finances and he also didn’t have much of a desire to head to the UK (blasphemy I know!). Next I asked my mother. Of course she said no as she wanted to go with my stepdad. I didn’t really want to travel with either of them anyway but I was too scared to go at it alone. Since they both said no, I was pretty much out of options at that point for a travelling partner. After a couple of weeks and a lot of researching and a rare moment of self-confidence, I decided that I would go alone. This was November 2015 and my plan was to go in September 2016 so I had a lot of time to save and prepare. I kicked out the flatmate, packed up all of my belongings, put them in storage, and Pepper (my dog) and I moved in with my parents. Now this is not something to do on a whim. Moving in with the parents I mean. Being 31 years old and living at home is certainly not an ideal situation. Especially if you have depression and anxiety! Even worse if they have it also! Of course it does depend on your relationship with your parents which mine is mostly pretty good – when not living with them! There are many times where we totally disagree on everything which can make life somewhat uncomfortable, awkward and frustrating. Living under their roof you do need to adapt to their ‘way of life’ which is more than likely considerably different to how you live yours.

I moved in with them in January 2016. It was really the only way I could save up a decent amount of money as I decided to travel for about 5 or 6 weeks. Being in NZ, we are such a long way away from most places. It takes so long to get anywhere so I wanted to make the most of the time I had and see as much as I could.